We Need to Help Each Other
5th January, 2021
Dear Diary
‘It is in the Shelter of each other that the people live.’
Irish Proverb
I have an urge to write in you today after the government announced last night, that we are going into another lockdown. To be fair we all knew it was on the horizon, bracing for the ‘When?’ and not the ‘What if?’
We have done it before, and we will do it again. However, I am mindful that circumstances are different.
Last time,
- the weather was beautiful most of the time (lots of sunbathing going on!)
- we were uncertain what was happening and unified in our fear and need to come together to help overcome this pandemic
- many thought it would last for a few weeks, not months!
This time,
- its winter (potentially, restricting us more – we definitely won’t be sunbathing!)
- we have struggled with this uncertainty and restrictions for nearly 10 months and bombarded with negativity and uncertain who to believe or trust
- thousands of people have died as a direct result of COVID
- thousands are bereaved and isolated from their loved ones who could support them
- thousands have lost their jobs. Others are fearful that they will lose theirs to!
- we are aware that this can go on for months and many will struggle with their mental health.
Journalists tend to only report doom and gloom and put the fear of God in everyone. I know it’s bad, I know people are dying, I know there is uncertainty in many aspects of our lives and it is going to last several months. However, I also know, that many people are struggling with their mental health and need us/their communities to reach out to them and help to instil hope. Fair to say, we will overcome this pandemic. In fact, it is on the horizon, but what about people’s mental health and those who are desperately struggling to cope, during the pandemic?
We need to generate hope, when it feels there is none. I say this as a person who has been personally bereaved by suicide. I have experienced a sense of helplessness, hopelessness and the desperate need to feel a sense of hope, when my brother died by suicide. The current situation, evokes similar emotions, for so many. We need to act and we need to do it now!
So, I ask those who read this post, please tell me what effective coping strategies you adopted and why, during the previous lockdown. That way, we can share these, on my post, with those who are struggling to cope, in the hope that they might decide to adopt some of them. Please provide links if possible or relevant. Thank you.
Here are some of my coping strategies, during the previous lockdown:
- Exercised most days – specifically Joe Wickes PE sessions. I felt part of a community doing this at the same time every day, with the same people, even though I couldn’t see them. For me, that was as important as the exercise. Apparently, he is going to do them three days a week, during this lockdown. These are free. I will be doing it again during this lockdown. https://www.list.co.uk/article/122490-joe-wicks-bringing-back-online-pe-sessions-for-lockdown-3/
- I stopped constantly listening to the news (I just updated myself once a day). Whilst I cannot control what is happening, I can control what I listen to! This meant that I did not listen to the radio as they have constant news updates. I also, stopped watching the news before I went to bed.
#CollectiveVoice
© Suicide Bereavement UK, 2021
I always try and go for a walk for at least 30 minutes a day
Thank you for sharing Paul. You are right, its good to get out for fresh air for wellbeing.
A routine that includes exercise, and going for a walk. I am lucky enough to have a garden and that really helps. I hate this time of year anyway, but having winter flowering plants , and watching the bulbs and other spring plants that are starting to come up is really helpful. It reminds me about the importance of the seasons including winter, the cycle of life and what is to come in spring.
Thank you Paula for sharing what you will be doing during this lockdown and your thoughts, it is really appreciated it and will help others. x
Go for a walk even if you don’t feel like it and look at what is around you. Even the small things can make you smile.
Say hello to a stranger
Hi Samantha, thank you for sharing. I agree its the small things that matter – when things get really bad. I love your suggestion of saying hello to a stranger. The reality is saying hello to some people might be the only time some people living on their own will speak to someone – Such a kind simple act could make someones day. Thank you for sharing, it means a lot. Sharon x
Daily meditation & walks, finding creative ways to connect with others and being playful ☺️
Thank you for taking the time to provide details of how you coped with lockdown last time. Is there any beginners books on meditation that you could recommend? I agree we need to identify creative ways to connect with each other. I love how you refer to being ‘playful’. I think we have forgotten how to be silly and have fun at the moment. Wise words Catherine, thank you for sharing. Sharon
Gratitude plays a big part in my coping strategies being thankful for the smallest of pleasures. The knowledge that the next day dawns, the birds sing and that we have more artisan sourdough bread makers in the country than ever before!
I’m fortunate to live in a rural location, can walk in the countryside daily. Exercise, particularly running, became part of my armoury after losing my daughter and if I could recommend anything it would be the therapeutic benefit of just putting one foot in front of the other and making yourself move. It doesn’t change your life situation but it does make it easier to cope with. I currently doing RED January which really does help keep the blues away!
As always thank you for your unfailing support on here and twitter. It is really appreciated. I have never thought about gratitude, but you are right, something we should consider. I agree exercise helps. Just getting out, walking – anything, rather than not moving. What is RED January? Not heard of that – is there a link so others can learn about it to. Thanks, Sharon x
I spent a lot of time re-framing and mind-setting.
Coping skills both personal therapy when required and the simpl, easy & effortless breathe techniques.
Visual Mental Imsgery for switching my unwanted critical thinking around.
WOOP APP For goal setting.
Took short CPD which anchored in all my learning that I teach my clients, I took more me time out.
Happy to volunteer my services & support where I can Sharon.
Keep up the great work your doing.
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Thank you for sharing Dawn. You have provided a lot here, for people to consider. Also, it reminds professionals who are supporting others, that they matter to – self care is also important.
Will take a look at the WOOP APP – not heard of that before. Take care, Sharon x
My husband and I took to re~exploring our local area, as we use to drive to work and never walk around our local, small green spaces and parks.
We made a Time structured plan for each day.
1 Walk for 30 mins outside. We would pause for 1 minute to listen to a bird song, look at the colours of a flower, tree, sky. a bird and new things we found. (45 mins)
2 We made our own coffee to go on our walk. Longer we took breakfast pack and sat in the park
3 We watched only 2 uplifting things on TV daily and One short News announcement (1.5 hr)
4 Set Lunch and dinner times to eat at table together (2 hrs)
5 Ten minutes body scan before bed, followed by recalling and jotted down 5 things grateful for that day that I noticed on my walk or in the day. (15mis)
6 I made a time slot each day for a different practice for daily stretching, cardio, tonging, HITT for beginners and all from free Youtube channels. (20)
I set and stuck to this time structure most days.
We both learned a new hobby, joined art class and learned to pain and now structure this in twice a week.
Oh wow, Dawn, this is brilliant. So much here. Lovely that your husband also engaged in it to. You are right creating structure in your day is important. I am confident that many will adopt some of your strategies. Thank you for taking the time to help others, it is really appreciated x
I too enjoy walking and also seeing and really feeling into the beauty of nature around me. Every day be kind to yourself and try to be the light for someone in their darkness x
Thank you for sharing Lisa. It seems many are using nature and walking to help them cope. Wise words ‘be kind to yourself’. Sometimes in difficult times we forget to care for ourselves. I do believe people contributing to this list will bring light to those who feel in the darkness. Thank you x
My daily walk around for an hour, from my house and back to my house. I’ve discovered new routes and paths even though I’ve lived here for 30 years. I now know enough of my community to say hello, fellow morning walkers. I wave at the man who sits by his window all day. I see the allotments, activity and crops and the passing seasons. look who is having the builders in and which houses have sold. its the small things.
Then when come home I spend an hour on YouTube reliving my youth with hits of the 60s 70s and 80s, singalong, singing is such a stress buster.
Thanks for sharing Melanie. Like you, I began to explore what is on my doorstep. Sounds like you live in a lovely community. Thank you also for highlighting the importance of considering the elderly people who might live alone and are dependent on that friendly person taking the time to wave to them, as they walk by. Great idea playing upbeat music and singing. x
TY all for sharing everyone. Yesterday on my first lockdown 3 exercise walk – buds and catkins were in abundance on the trees. Research by The Wildlife Trusts around their nature connection projects (like ‘30 days wild’ in June) shows there are many physical and psychological health benefits to connecting with nature on a daily basis, plus viewing nature images and videos online is the next best thing for our health when we can’t get outdoors (White et al 2018). Other research shows and my own experience is that the wilder and less manicured the better. Observing the growth and movement to spring can only help? I refer to my nature walks as active mindfulness.
I’m using the hashtag #wildlockdown in #lockdown3 for my nature posts across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram on ‘Therapy Up North’ if you’d like or benefit from more nature posts.
Thank you Jay for sharing what helps you during lockdown. Lovely to think of nature walks as active mindfulness. Thank you also for sharing your hashtags. I have no doubt many people will enjoy looking at them. Take care, Sharon