The Diary of Dr. Sharon McDonnell

Aged 53 and 3/4

27th February 2014

I landed in Melbourne, after a long haul flight. It was around 11pm and I was starving.  The hotel was very basic and was not situated in the best part of the city and did not serve food. The nearby restaurants had stopped serving. Out of desperation, I was considering a run down, so called Malaysian restaurant/take away.  The menu was displayed in the window, it looked okay.  I decided to go in, as I sat down a young girl spoke to me in very broken English.  I managed to work out that the food available was from a different menu than the one displayed in their window.  At this point I didn’t care.  I was starving.  I could have eaten anything, or so I thought.  I quickly worked my way down the menu and then I saw the words, ‘fried intestines’.  I didn’t continue reading to see what was accompanied with it.  Good God, fried intestines – who eats that?  Not me anyway!

Now biology has never been my best subject, but I am aware that every human being has several metres of intestine.  Admittedly, I didn’t explore which animal’s intestines would be deep fried and how long the intestine would be.  Mind you it would have been irrelevant!  I suppose I could have had chips, but I hated the idea of my portion of chips potentially floating around in the same industrial deep fat fryer, alongside other orders that included INTESTINES.  I had to think of an exit plan without looking rude.  As the waitress struggled to speak English, I just stood up, ‘over smiled’ in an attempt to look friendly and polite as I tried to leave.  Mind you it probably looked more like a grimace after the trauma of reading the menu! Within seconds I was out of the restaurant and back on the streets looking for somewhere to eat.  I wandered aimlessly looking and then, after about ten minutes, I could see a bright yellow sign in the distance.  I wasn’t sure if it was a mirage. Maybe my rumbling stomach was playing tricks with my vision.  I kept walking and there it was, ‘MacDonalds’.  Now I know many of you might gasp and think that it is not a healthy option.  At that point I didn’t care. One thing I knew for sure, there would be no intestines on the menu!